Like J. R. Hartley In The Yellow Pages Advert…

Good evening, Bookworms!

Well, I did what I intended to do… At lunchtime today, I went on a tour of the charity shops in Chorlton to search for Crime And Punishment, but the result was an Epic Dostoyevsky Fail at every shop. By the end of it, I felt rather like poor old J. R. Hartley felt when he’d tried all those bookshops in vain, searching for a copy of Fly Fishing! For those of you unfamiliar with this old commercial, try looking it up on YouTube – they seem to have loads of mad stuff on there! However, I’m sure some of you will know what I’m on about! I will see if I can get the video on here somewhere so you can see for yourself the classic 1980s Yellow Pages commercial featuring Mr Hartley and his book hunt. I was having an equally fruitless time at the charity shops in Chorlton when I wanted to see if they had a copy of Crime And Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. (It is rather old, just like Fly Fishing, lol!)

However, just as Yellow Pages came to Mr Hartley’s rescue, Lizzie Harvey has come to mine and the classic work of Russian literature should be on its way shortly. Even if my name isn’t Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Or J. R. Hartley!

 In a panic due to having just over a week until my next book club meeting, I did a bit of reading and some skim-reading of Tamar today to make some futher progress. Just reached quite a sad part where the girl Tamar is losing her Dutch grandparents. First her grandma goes into a care home due to dementia and then that essentially sees her grandad, the male Tamar, end his life as he can’t handle what has happened to his wife. Tragically, the dementia has also caused her to relive the nightmares of wartime in Nazi-occupied Holland and when she is in care she is discovered hoarding food in her room and fearing that the birds in the garden, particularly the crows, are Gestapo men coming to get her.

I have been blogging a lot lately, haven’t I?! This might actually become even more frequent, particularly at weekends, as I have had warning that two reality shows I especially hate are due to return to our tv screens very shortly, namely Big Brother and X Factor. I utterly HATE both these shows with a vengeance!

I had hoped that when Big Brother ended on Channel Four, that that would be the end of this vile, sordid excuse for television, but unfortunately it is returning. Granted, it’s now going to be relegated to Channel Five (as in the same channel that shows Thursday night football for teams too shit to qualify for the Champions’ League), but I didn’t want it back on televison at all, thank you very much. I have blogged previously about the sort of vile and talentless attention-whores who appear on this repulsive show, people who do not possess an ounce of class or dignity and are far too willing to make an arse of themselves on national television in order to become famous.

And then there’s X Factor, whose contestents are, for the most part, hardly that much more talented than anyone who goes on Big Brother! I hate everything about this show. The fact it produces boring, lookalike, soundalike acts which monpolise the charts at the expense of talented bands & singers, the identikit videos made for the winning acts which basically show how they won X Factor and don’t have a hint of Festive Season about them even though the show is deliberately timed so that the final will be in December and the winner will usually have the Christmas number one (with the honourable exception of 2009 when Rage Against The Machine won the race to Christmas Number One with “Killing In The Name” thanks to a Facebook campaign against X Factor!). I hate that smarmy tosser Simon Cowell, don’t see why anyone would phone up to vote as the voting is all fixed and the numbers are premium-rate rip-off phone numbers, and, when this bloody show is on tv ruining my weekends every autumn, my Twitter timeline is absolutely flooded with stupid shitty tweets about the damn show! It has run for more than long enough, thank you very much. Time to pull the plug on it and get it off our screens, thus also giving PROPER music a chance to flourish once again instead of being overpowered by identikit, manufactured shite!

Talking of stuff that needs removing from our tv screens, I would like to know which utter numpty thought it was a good idea to start showing that Vision Express commercial again?! I hated it the first time round because of the noisy, hyperactive brat who goes tear-arsing around the house and jumping up and down on the sofa (breaking his dad’s specs in the process), and I already wanted to give that little brat a damn good hiding in the days when that commercial was first aired. However, with all the recent riots and unrest, now is NOT the time to be showing adverts featuring ill-disciplined brats! The last thing we need is to give anyone the remotest encouragement to misbehave! I also want to collar the so-called “dad” in that advert and question him on a) why he is such a stupid numpty as to have left his specs on the sofa in the first place and b) why he hasn’t dealt severely with that child of his for having no respect for furniture! I know… I’ve got a good idea… Why don’t we take the Vision Express advert off the air and replace it with a nice, gentle commercial featuring an amiable old codger looking for a copy of the book he wrote years ago?! Get J R Hartley back on the box! As I mentioned in a recent blog, when we had an uncaring Tory government, a Royal Wedding and rioting in our streets thirty years ago, at least the music and the television programmes were far better back in 1981! So were the bloody adverts! Even the Shake ‘N’ Vac woman is an improvement on the Vision Express brat!

I will finish with the usual list of books mentioned in this entry, but I shall also post a link, which I hope will work, so that you might be able to enjoy one of British television’s most classic commercials from the 1980s as Mr. J. R. Hartley goes on his book hunt! Take care and Happy Reading!

Books mentioned in this blog entry:

  • Crime And Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • Fly Fishing – J. R. Hartley
  • Tamar – Mal Peet

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…. Fly Fishing by J. R. Hartley… Take it away, Yellow Pages…



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